


Lodestar

by shinigami714



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gold Sickness, Hurt/Comfort, Incest, Love, M/M, Possible Spoilers, Romance, Sibling Incest, Smut, Soul Bond, Tenderness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-25
Updated: 2014-08-25
Packaged: 2018-02-14 15:31:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2197065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinigami714/pseuds/shinigami714
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The most important thing was simply for a dwarf to follow their heart. The heart nearly always led one in the right direction, and the heart was often able to fix the worst of problems, if one allowed it to do so."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lodestar

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there folks. Somehow this two-page outline turned into ten, and then an interlude of smut happened, followed by angst, there's definitely angst. Fíli's a big freaking sap too. Whoops. You've all been warned. I'm not completely satisfied with this story. My cat passed away in the middle of writing and it really sideswiped me. Plus I've managed to get a cold again, curse my immune system (that's what I get for walking in the rain). I'm not sure if I managed to pull things together or not. Figured I'd post something anyway since it's been a while. Hoping to work on Sore Must Be the Storm next, but it was just too heavy of a story for me to delve into this week.

Dwarves were a curious species. They were often thought of as the most hardworking race in Middle Earth, as well as the most dedicated to their craft. They had a reputation for fighting to the bitter end, with determination and great strength of will. And if one asked a travelling merchant they might say that there really was no other creature with the same blind passion, or fierce ability to focus on a task.

This status came from truth, to some extent. For when a dwarf found his or her purpose in life, there really was nothing that could stop their everlasting will to fight for it. However, a dwarf without a purpose, or one who'd lost his or her way…that was something else entirely. Those dwarves wandered, aimlessly, they were unfocused and often cruel or angry. Some grew stilted with depression while others became so heartbroken they chose to leave the world for a better place. For when a dwarf lost their purpose in life, they also lost their soul. Not many bore witness to a dwarf in such a state, as such dwarves rarely survived for long, and only the most hardy persevered through a struggle so great and found their way again.

The gold sickness was one such curse. It often led dwarves astray, consuming their minds until their true purpose became no more than a lost memory. They became misguided, possessed with greed, and driven to madness. There were ways, to break free from such curses, to find oneself again, though often with the help of others and not without incredible mental anguish. In the end, the most important thing was simply for a dwarf to follow their heart. The heart nearly always led one in the right direction, and the heart was often able to fix the worst of problems, if one allowed it to do so.

* * *

Fíli did his best to always follow his heart, and for as long as he could remember there was only one thing in life his heart truly held interest in. Fíli's early years were forgettable and unfocused, and he didn't really remember much before the birth of his little brother. But he remembered every moment after that day. He remembered his brother's screaming, his crying, his tiny red face, and his flailing arms. He remembered the days that followed his brother's first and everything that came with them, watching Kili yawn and smile and play. He loved when his brother was happy. He was happiest when his brother was happy.

It was unsurprising for Fili to discover that Kili was his one. He loved him, deeply and like he would never love another. Beyond that, Kíli was also his purpose, his reason for being, the only thing that kept him focused and determined to complete any task. He'd never told his brother, instead waiting, and hoping that the other dwarf might someday feel the same. He'd heard Balin complain on more than one occasion that his younger brother was impossible to teach a single thing unless Fíli sat at his side. Kíli would fidget and complain until whoever was around him gave up in frustration and simply shooed him away. And though it was a fairly accurate description to say that Kíli's sole reason for living was for his older brother, Fíli was never entirely sure that was correct.  His brother was a free soul, always looking for something new and flashy to catch his attention, while Fíli's attention was always on his brother, and on one thing in particular.

_His smile._

It was absolutely breathtaking.

Kíli smiled like there was nothing wrong in the world. His lips spread out to an incredible width on his face, his teeth shown to all who cared to look. His cheeks dimpled, and his eyes squinted closed. When Kíli smiled, his whole body smiled right along with it. It emanated through his very form, and Fíli was positive, that was his brother's reason for living, to fill his surroundings with joy, to let the rest of the world bear witness to his radiance.

The two naturally gravitated towards one another. Regardless of whether or not Fíli was his brother's purpose, they were still destined to at the very least be near one another, whether romantically or platonically, and Fíli would do everything in his power to keep that beautiful grin on Kíli's face. There was an undeniable connection between the two, and even Fíli had to admit, Kíli understood him like no other ever would.

For Fíli, his brother was a bit of a mystery. Kíli was very different from the average dwarf. Not in a bad way, just…different. He never concerned himself with the usual hobbies, like crafting, or brawling. He held little interest in rocks and stones or general dwarf culture. He was of course gifted in archery and fighting, and enjoyed an evening of laughter and lively fun like the rest of them, but his favourite past times were often spent amongst a different kind of life. Kíli regularly drifted away from Ered Luin, towards the forests, rivers and rolling hills of the East. Balin thought that it was the call of home; that Kíli just wanted to be that much closer to Erebor, but Fíli was sure his brother just loved nature and being amongst it. He often followed his little brother on his short journeys, and they would hunt amongst the trees and take long afternoon swims in the chilly river water. Kíli's smile was so vivid on those days, and his chest often contracted from laughter while the setting sun glinted off of his eyes. Fíli's own chest contracted at the sight, but for entirely different reasons.

It was on one such trip that their relationship developed further. They were drying off, after a swim so long the skin on their bodies had begun to wrinkle. Kíli was lying on the grass and smiling serenely, his eyes half closed as he gazed sleepily at the bits of red sky visible between treetops. Fíli sat forward, looking down towards his brother, watching each time the other dwarf took a breath. Kíli was particularly beautiful that day, so relaxed and sated. Fíli longed to wrap his arms about his brother's body, to hold him close and never let go. He watched him with wistful eyes, his urges held just at bay.

"What is it? You're looking…even more pensive than usual," Kíli asked, his eyes opening further and flicking towards where Fíli sat. The older dwarf frowned slightly and glanced away, towards the river, but no answer came. Kíli sat up slowly; growing worried, and moved to look in the other's eyes.

"Brother, what is it?" he pressed, and Fíli turned towards him again. For a long while the two simply watched each other's faces. Kíli was acting surprisingly patient. He usually demanded answers when they weren't supplied immediately, but he seemed to understand his brother needed some time. Fili considered the words to come carefully, but he figured with his brother it was always best to be straight forward. And he had danced around his feelings for the other for far too long already.

"Kíli," the older dwarf finally spoke, his voice soft and with eyes to match. Fíli reached out a hand and placed it gently beneath his brother's chin.

"You're my one," he whispered, drawing a tiny gasp from the other's lips.

"I've known it for a long time now," Fíli admitted, and already the younger dwarf's lips were lifting at the corners, his eyes crinkling happily at the sides. Fíli was pleased and comforted by the reaction and he smiled gently in return.

"You're my purpose in this life, my reason for being, and my world. I love you, I love everything about you," Fíli continued, watching the way the other dwarf's eyes shone.

"Fíli, I-," Kíli began, his eyes glued to his brother.

"No, let me finish," Fíli interjected. He needed to get it all out. All too often Kíli could take a conversation and turn it into another entirely. It was a talent of his brother's, talking, and Fíli needed to make sure he said all he meant to before that happened.

"I love your energy; I love your voice, your eyes, your hair, the way you move, and the way you talk. I love your laugh, I love your smile, oh Kíli your smile it's…," he trailed off, shaking his head in awe as his thumb dragged across the corner of his brother's wide grin. Fíli could not find the right word to describe such a sight. It was absolute perfection, but saying so just didn't feel enough.

"I love you, I want to kiss you, and that smile of yours," Fíli admitted, finally releasing the other's chin and moving to brush dark locks of hair back behind his brother's ear. Oddly enough, Kíli did not jump right into speaking and instead closed his eyes and tilted his head into the other dwarf's touch. His grin did not falter, even as he pulled his lower lip in and bit it timidly.

"I wouldn't say no," Kíli spoke, his dark eyes flashing open and Fíli was caught by his sultry gaze.

"I'm yours, Fíli," the younger dwarf whispered, and despite the open invitation Fíli sat motionless, just watching the other stare at him heatedly. Surely he had to be dreaming. Surely Kíli would play it all off as a joke, and the moment would be gone.

In the end Kíli did not talk much at all, though he did control the rest of their evening. Just moments later his lips were pressed flush against his brother's, drawing low moans from the other dwarf's throat. Fíli was so struck with surprise he could barely do anything at all and he let his brother guide the kiss, snake his way atop his body and push him down to the ground. They did no more than explore each other's mouths that evening, but it was more than enough. For all of Kíli's confidence, Fíli could see through his charade. The other dwarf hid it well, but there were signs of his nervousness. His eyes betrayed him, flickering away whenever Fíli's lingered on him too long, and his skin was flushed from more than just arousal. His kisses were clumsy and inexperienced, and there were faint trembles in arms where he held himself above the other. The older dwarf worried that Kíli might not be ready for such things, that he was only pushing himself to please Fíli. Regardless of his doubts, it was a night Fíli would cherish forever.

* * *

For many years the two danced around each other, sharing nothing more than a gentle kiss here, or a tender hug there. Fíli did not wish to push his brother into anything further, for fear the other dwarf might find someone else to call his one. Still his little brother never took interest in another dwarf, not a single one, and though Kíli often seemed satisfied with the simple gestures, his patience was growing thin. As more years passed by Kíli became increasingly adventurous, both in his exploration away from the Blue Mountains and with their budding relationship. He teased Fíli relentlessly, tossing saucy smirks in his direction whenever possible, which Fíli found he enjoyed just as much as his brother's happiest smiles. Their kissing sessions became longer and more passionate, their hands began to wander beneath garments, and their day trips into the nearby forests became weeklong excursions during which the two cuddled and Kíli tried to entice his brother into more. But never did Fíli allow it to escalate further. He needed to be sure, absolutely sure, that Kíli gave himself only to his one.

Soon the time came for a grander journey than either of the young dwarves had ever experienced. It was not to be a short trip into the nearby forests and villages, but instead a great quest, to take back the mountain their uncle and so many of their people had once called home. Erebor was no secret to the young dwarves. For years they'd been told stories of its wealth and structure, heard tales of the halls and golden mines beneath the mountain. Fíli figured that might be his uncle's purpose in life. Thorin never spoke of it, but for as long as Fíli could remember his uncle had been devoted to uniting their people and reclaiming the Lonely Mountain. Thorin meant for it to one day be their home as well and he told his nephews as much and asked them both to join him on the journey.

Fíli was apprehensive, but it was his duty as Thorin's heir to follow in his footsteps, so he eventually agreed. Kíli, on the other hand, was easy to convince. He wanted to see the world; he wanted to follow that pull he felt to the east, wherever it might lead. If Fíli had not already felt obligated to go, his brother's choice would have convinced him. He would follow Kíli anywhere, if only to see that smile on his face each and every day.

And see that smile he did, for as they began their venture it grew brighter and more vibrant with each passing moment. As the dwarves set foot through the Hills of Evendim Kíli was happier than Fíli had ever seen him. His younger brother's eyes were shining and each time Kíli looked towards him Fíli was so very tempted push him to the forest floor and make love to him then and there. This happiness was nothing, however, compared to the first time Kíli gazed upon the lands of the Shire. He seemed nearly speechless, as they approached Hobbiton, taking in the tiny homes beneath rolling hills and scattered forests on the outskirts. There was Brandywine River, and farmland filled with crops. Tiny animals skittered about, and the entire place felt so full of warmth and nature. Kíli loved the smell of it all, and he stood for a moment and breathed in the fresh air of his surroundings, before turning to his brother with a grin. There was such emotion hidden in his dark eyes, and Fíli almost thought he saw longing. For what, he was not sure.

Fíli and Kíli found themselves drifting away from the other dwarves to explore, eventually falling into a field of tall grass, where they wrestled with one another for a bit before kissing for even longer. Night fell and the two walked through the nearby forest and back towards Bag End, pausing as they set foot by a tiny clearing. The trees seemed to form a flawless circle, leaving a gap in the forest canopy through which the two dwarves could watch the stars with clarity. Kíli wasted no time, dropping his pack and running into the centre before twirling round and round. Fíli was sure he'd never seen his brother so full of life, which was saying something considering his usual bubbly demeanor.

"Careful Kíli, the fairies might take you," Fíli warned, and his lips curved upwards as he watched his brother laugh with joy. Kíli snickered back and ran to pull Fíli into the clearing as well, tugging him away from the tree he rest against. They danced together beneath the stars, lively at first, though eventually it morphed into a slower, more languid pace. Kíli rest his head atop his brother's shoulder and Fíli placed his arms around the slender dwarf's body, holding him close as they moved to the sounds of the forest around them. Fíli was so at peace that he barely heard his brother speak his name, the sound muffled slightly in the collar of his cloak.

"When we get to Erebor, would you…," Kíli began, his fingers toying with one of the braids in his brother's hair. He bit his lip and turned his face further into the other dwarf's neck.

"Would you take the vow with me?" he whispered, his body tensing as Fíli stopped their dance. The older dwarf paused for a moment to take in the words before pulling away quickly.

"Is that what you want?" Fíli asked, genuinely surprised at his brother's suggestion. He had never thought his brother would truly consider a bonding between them. A true bonding. Only dwarves completely devoted to one another took the vow. Of course Fíli was filled with devotion for his one, but he had not imagined Kíli might actually return the sentiment. Kíli withdrew slightly, wrapping an arm nervously about his own side. He seemed hesitant and unsure of himself, uncharacteristically insecure.

"I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine," Kíli mentioned, taking a few steps away as though he though Fíli might lash out.

"I want to be bound to you. I want…I want us to go together through life and death, even when we face the halls of Mahal," he admitted, lowering his head in shame. There was no smile upon his face and Fíli hated seeing his brother so upset.

"You do…you do want me, r-right?" Kíli asked hesitantly, his voice hitching ever so slightly and Fíli felt his heart constrict at the sound.

"What? Of course I do!" Fíli exclaimed, and he itched to move close and take his brother into his arms.

"It's just…you never really…seem all that interested. I thought maybe, you had…changed your mind," Kíli mumbled, trailing off on the last few words. Fíli resolved himself and stepped forward, placing his hands on Kíli's face and lifting his head.

"I just want you to be sure," Fíli spoke, taking in his brother's shy expression.

"I've always been sure. You're my one, I know you are. And…I thought I was yours too, but if I'm not…tell me, tell me now," Kíli pleaded, his eyes suspiciously full of moisture.

"Oh Kíli," the older dwarf sighed, and then bent forwards to connect their lips in a gentle and loving kiss. He stroked at the lobes of Kíli's ears, knowing how it soothed him, and pressed their brows together, aligning their noses. Their eyes connected and Fíli acted. For the first time, he controlled his brother's every action. He pressed Kili gently back into a tree and held his body taught at his waist. When their lips joined it wasn't the same soft and tender kiss they often shared but instead deep and filled with a desperate need. For once Fíli did not allow his brother to lead. He dominated Kíli's mouth, pushing his tongue aggressively inside and staking his claim. Fíli's hands ran up and down his brother's thighs, tugging at his skin through his garments and pulling his body close. Their groins brushed together and Kíli gasped, his thin fingers clenching around the other dwarf's arms tight enough to bruise. Fíli reveled in it, grinding against the other and biting at his lower lip. It was as though a dam had broken, allowing Fíli to finally have everything he ever wanted.

Kíli was a shivering mess, and he seemed dumbfounded by the sudden turn of events. His long limbs trembled against the tree and Fíli could see his heated breaths creating steam as they mingled with the cool night air. Fíli's blue eyes bored into him intently, and he trailed possessive kisses across his brother's stubble covered jaw. He pushed Kíli's jerkin away easily, unbuckling belts and clasps with little struggle as he focused on sucking a mark into the other dwarf's neck. Kíli's voice echoed through the little clearing and Fíli grinned against his skin, teeth grazing at his brother's collar.

"You are my one, you will always be my one. I was not lying when I said my purpose in life is you," Fíli hissed, tugging one last time at the belt around his brother's waist. It came loose with a pop and Kíli gasped loudly and pulled away to look into Fíli's eyes. He was breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling in quick short motions, and his eyes were glazed over in a way Fíli had never witnessed before.

"Will you…make love to me, Fíli?" the brunette asked tentatively. Kíli seemed both frightened and excited by such a possibility, and his hot breath ghosted enticingly across the other's skin. Fíli smiled, and placed a quick peck against the other dwarf's nose, leaning in close to his ear. He had a feeling Kíli didn't really know what he was asking. Sometimes the few years between them felt like ages. In some ways, his little brother was very sheltered, while other times he seemed to have wisdom far beyond his years. This was not one of those times.

"Not that, not tonight," Fili whispered, drawing his brother into a tight embrace while his hands worked away at the leather clasps about Kíli's arms. The younger dwarf's shoulders relaxed just slightly, and Fíli knew he was making the right decision.

"I want that at least, to be special, on the night of our wedding," Fíli admitted gently. The armguards fell from the younger dwarf's body to the ground and Kíli looked imploringly into his brother's blue irises. There were so many questions hidden behind his gaze.

"There are other things we can do my sweet one," Fíli promised, his fingers tickling at the dark hairs upon the other dwarf's forearms. He could feel the gooseflesh beneath his palms, and wondered if it was the chill of the night or anticipation that brought on such a reaction. Kíli's pupils were dilated and his face was tinted an attractive shade of red, and as Fíli's hands moved lower, carefully popping the buttons open on the other's breeches, he knew the reaction was more than likely from arousal. Kíli was breathing heavily and his swollen lips parted enticingly as Fíli moved to claim them once again. This time their tongues remained still, touching only occasionally at the ends, and they shared several open mouthed caresses as Fíli pushed his brother's garments down his hips.

Kili immediately pulled away to look down as cool air spread across his exposed skin and the other dwarf's thumbs grazed the skin of his thighs. His body was pressed hard against the tree behind him and he knew his legs were shaking slightly as they tried to hold up his weight. The wet head of his cock was visible beneath the folds of his shirt, and he flushed further at the sight of it. It was difficult to meet his brother's eyes, but he managed, becoming enraptured by the way Fíli seemed to look right into his soul.

"Trust me?" Fíli whispered, with another teasing touch to his skin, and Kíli's eyebrows knitted as he held in a whimper.

"A-always," he stuttered, and the blonde dropped to his knees, dragging nails down the back of Kíli's long legs. The other dwarf watched on, a mixture of curiosity and desire in his eyes. Fíli was struck once again with how young his brother still seemed, how innocent he was. Fili wondered how often his one explored his own body, if at all, or if his only experiences were those times the two spent together.

Fíli proceeded slowly, placing teasing kisses along his brother's groin and at the base of his cock. The noises he received in return were more than worth it and urged him on. Soon his tongue tasted the other dwarf's heated skin, wrapping around his erection and lapping at the tip. He knew it would not take much to make Kíli come, so he teased him, pulling away whenever necessary. One finger slipped up between his brothers legs, pressing gently into crease of his ass, and Kíli gasped and jerked forward as it inched inside his hole. Fíli could see the wonder on his lover's face, and he knew the other dwarf liked the intrusion as Kíli began to squirm and grind down onto the finger inside him.

"Fíli, please!" Kíli begged, his fingers tightening atop Fíli's shoulders and the older dwarf proceeded to suck him thoroughly, his lips tightening and his tongue creating senseless patterns against his brother's hardened flesh. Kíli's fingers dug in and he came with a scream, his first orgasm sizzling through his body like fire. His body shuddered against the tree before his legs gave out and he swiftly tumbled to the ground. Fíli moved quickly, catching him beneath his arms and caging him against the tree. He wiped dark hair from Kíli's sweaty face and waited patiently for the other dwarf to settle and focus on his surroundings. Once the brunette's breathing had evened he looked up at the sky and laughed heartily, his lips spreading into a shaky smile. His eyes were squeezed so tight that tiny tears dripped from the edges and Fíli pulled his body close to his chest.

"I promise you, the first time we join together as one, will be beneath the stars and surrounded by trees," Fíli intoned, and Kíli flushed a deep crimson at the declaration, but he seemed incredibly happy and a special sort of smile took hold of his lips. It was a shy smile, less wide, but no less impactful, and it was a smile he had only ever shown to Fíli.

A few minutes passed before Kíli realised his brother was still uncomfortably aroused. He stared at the sizable bulge at Fíli's groin and bit his lip. His eyes flicked up to meet the other dwarf's and in an instant Kíli's expression morphed into one of pure seduction. He smirked wildly and his eyes were alight with a saucy intent. Kíli was a true chameleon, and his look alone had Fíli frozen in place as he waited for whatever scheme his little brother planned to enact. In seconds Fíli's breeches were open and his brother's fingers stroked up and down his engorged flesh, and he gasped as wet lips wrapped around his length. It was again a bit clumsy, and his brother choked a few times, but Kíli attacked his erection with such eager conviction that Fíli was climaxing just moments later with several loud groans, his hand gripped fiercely in the other dwarf's hair. His vision blacked out and it took a long while for him to regain some semblance of composure. When he finally opened his eyes he was met with his brother's smirking face.

"It was only right, to return the favour," Kíli drawled, wiping at his mouth ungracefully. Fíli choked on a laugh and moved a hand to his brother's tinted cheek. It was then that the other dwarf's eyes strayed away again and the smirk began to falter slightly.

"Um...it was okay, right?" Kíli asked, his fingers fiddling with the bottom of his shirt. Fili pulled the other dwarf's head up and kissed his nose, dragging thick fingers through Kíli's messy locks.

"More than okay, thank you," Fíli whispered, drawing yet another grin from his brother. He could not wait to discover the world with his one. There was still so much for them to learn about one another. After reclaiming Erebor perhaps the two dwarves could embark on another adventure, exploring the rest of Middle Earth along with each other.

They took some time to relax and get their clothing in order, but they were expected elsewhere, and so regretfully left their little place in the woods. The two eventually made it to the Hobbit's home, long after the sun had set, though they were unfashionably late for dinner, and still sporting slightly flushed faces and untidy hair. Fíli was sure Dwalin knew exactly what they'd been up to as he greeted the two, eyeing Fíli with respect and Kíli with a bit of surprise and a hearty slap to his back. Even the hobbit eyed them warily and squinted at them oddly, almost as though he'd never seen a dwarf before, which was silly, considering Dwalin and Balin had long since arrived in Bilbo's home.

When they left the Shire, Kíli was full of energy, singing songs and telling jokes. His eyes took in the wilderness around them with gleeful curiosity. His happiness spread about the company like wildfire and Fíli could not help but smile at his brother each time the other dwarf looked his way. After a few days however it seemed his brother was growing tired. His smiles were perhaps just a tad less jovial and more infrequent, and often Fíli caught the other's gaze straying back the way they came. At first the older dwarf thought it might pass, but as the company delved further towards the mountain and encountered more and more unexpected obstacles Kíli's somber demeanor remained. In fact it appeared only to develop further.

Fíli watched his brother worriedly one night in Rivendell as they sat around a table for supper. Kíli was doing little more than moving things around on his plate, and unappetizing as the food was, the rest of them were starved enough to eat it regardless of the taste. His little brother seemed in a faraway place, looking off at the sky, where the setting sun cast reds and pinks across the clouds.

"Homesick laddie?" Balin asked, pulling something green from between the strands of his beard. Kíli turned to him quickly, his eyes slightly widened. He didn't answer, and instead looked down awkwardly at his own still full plate. Balin hummed and took a sip of his drink.

"It'll pass, you'll see. Once you lay eyes on the mountain, you'll feel right at home again," he reassured the young dwarf, but Kíli only frowned and put his fork down. Fíli reached out, placing his hand atop the brunette's shoulder and he relaxed slightly when Kíli offered him a tiny smile.

"Anyone would long for home when in a place like this," Dwalin muttered, lifting some lettuce from his plate in disgust. The rest of the dwarves laughed and began to rant about the elves and Fíli nudged his brother and gestured to the side with his head. They slipped away, walking together down the open hallways of Rivendell in silence. Fíli pulled his brother to his side, and they paused in the shadows, waiting for a group of elves to walk past. The blonde nudged his brother lightly, drawing out another tiny grin and he raised his fingers to brush a few hairs away from the other dwarf's face.

"I actually thought you might like this place," Fíli spoke, looking around at the open design. It was beautiful, if one took the time to appreciate it, and the tall gateways and alcoves allowed one to breathe in the fresh air and see the landscapes all around.

"I don't mind it…," Kíli confessed, and he ran his hand down the smooth marble before leaning against it with a sigh. Fíli wrapped his arms around him and placed his chin on his shoulder.

"Then what's bothering you?" he asked gently, while tugging the other dwarf close and pressing a kiss beneath his ear. Kíli closed his eyes and entangled his fingers with his brother's before turning his head to the side.

"It's just…I'm not sure. Something doesn't feel quite right is all," he admitted quietly. They stood still, taking in the darkening sky as Fíli traced circles into his brother's abdomen. The older dwarf was at a loss.

"What can I do to make you happy?" Fíli asked, drawing his brother's gaze.

"I miss seeing your smile all of the time," he voiced, and for a moment his brother's eyes were alight with happiness. Kíli's lips curved upwards and he turned his head further so their noses touched.

"Balin's right, I'm just homesick, it'll pass," the brunette tried to convince his brother, and Fíli accepted the answer, though inwardly he knew it was not true. There was far more to his brother's sadness than homesickness. Kíli had never held any sort of attachment for the Blue Mountains. And though both dwarves missed their mother dearly, Fíli knew this sorrow went much deeper. Kíli turned in his arms and grabbed the older dwarf's braids tenderly. His smile was sincere as he looked into Fíli's eyes.

"Besides, I'm always happy so long as you're with me," Kíli stated, his lips forming into a smirk. He leant forwards and kissed Fíli, drawing the other into a more passionate embrace. The rest of their evening was spent in each other's arms, and Fíli nearly forgot his worries entirely. Although he did playfully chastise Kíli when the young dwarf's belly grumbled loudly in the midst of their folly.

The few days following their rapid exit from Rivendell Kíli smiled frequently. Almost every time Fíli looked upon him he was wearing a grin of some kind, but the expressions seemed forced, almost as though his brother was trying to put on an act. And as the journey grew more chaotic, the smiles again began to disappear. The farther the company travelled, the more Kíli's face began to fall, the wearier he became. Fíli noticed of course, but he was often preoccupied by other things, like arrows flying towards his face. And all of the dwarves were exhausted, so his brother's sullen behaviour was less noticeable.

Finally the day came that the company laid eyes upon the Lonely Mountain from the waters surrounding Lake Town. Suddenly all of their goals and dreams were within reach. Fíli felt happiness fill his heart and he was smiling along with the other dwarves, despite his fatigue. He threw an arm over his brother's shoulder and tugged him close.

"Look at that Kíli, isn't it beautiful?" Fíli asked, though he wasn't really expecting an answer. And he did not get one. If he had been less enraptured he might have noticed the way Kíli's face remained frozen in an emotionless state. He might have seen the apprehension behind those dark brown orbs, or the way Kíli seemed almost regretful that they had made it so far at all. For the first time in a long while, Kíli went an entire day without even a slight lift of his lips, and it went completely unnoticed by his brother.

As the dwarves gathered in Lake Town and prepared weapons and armour before venturing further, Fíli finally took notice of his brother. When his eyes fell upon Kíli, the young dwarf looked almost surprised, and he even lifted the corner of his mouth slightly. It was strained, almost like the brunette was smiling out of necessity and Fíli frowned at the sight of it. He suddenly realised it was the closest thing to a smile he'd seen on his brother's face for weeks.

"Something wrong, Kíli?" Fíli asked, twirling a spear between his hands. Kíli's lips trembled slightly and he swallowed before looking outside.

"Do you ever wonder if we're making a mistake?" the young dwarf asked. He looked antsy where he sat atop a tiny wooden stool. His right knee was bobbing up and down at a rapid pace and his fingers were constantly tapping or moving.

"What do you mean?" Fíli pried, and he set the spear aside, moving closer to the other dwarf to look out the window beside him. Kíli sighed, long and loud, his eyes fixed on the peak visible in the distance.

"You know…going back to the mountain," he continued.

"Why would it be a mistake, it belongs to us, it's our home," Fíli commented easily. Kíli just stared at him.

"But what if it isn't?" Kíli deadpanned, his voice entirely too flat. Fíli offered no answer, and the two eyed each other blankly. For the first time the two dwarves were unconnected. Kíli's eyes fell and he lowered his head.

"It's just…something feels wrong, and I'm worried," he tried to explain. Fíli was unsure what to say. He didn't understand where such worries came from. Instead he scoffed, and awkwardly patted his brother on the back.

"Kíli, you're being silly. You'll see, once we get there, everything will be perfect," he voiced, and Kíli felt like he was being chastised by one of the other dwarves of the company, not his one, not his brother. The brunette remained in his seat, his gaze set where his boots scuffed against the wooden floor. He didn't even look up when his brother kissed the top of his head and eventually Fíli left him to brood alone.

The days following were a blur for the blonde dwarf. Once the company had rid the mountain of the beast within, most of them spent nearly every waking hour amongst the gold piles, looking at the treasure and walking atop it. They searched for the Arkenstone, and cared little for anything outside. Even as a war was brewing Fíli paid little mind, instead lifting golden coins between his fingers and wasting away his hours amongst the riches.

Kíli watched from afar as the wealth of the mountain put the dwarves under its spell. He witnessed his uncle slowly deteriorating, his eyes growing wild in his hunt for the precious jewel. He saw the way he began mistreating others, including their burglar. He was anxious, and mistrusted everyone around him. The other dwarves seemed less maddened, but still spent their days amongst the gold, eyeing it with something akin to lust. Kíli eyed it only with distaste. While the other dwarves were sick with gold lust, Kíli was sick with worry. He feared the battle that was brewing on their doorstep. He knew that the few of them, no matter how skilled with weapons and fighting, would be no match against an army of elves and humans. And he knew that whatever bargain they wished to bring to Thorin would be turned away due to greed. He worried most for his brother, who seemed almost as enraptured by the riches as their uncle. Kíli followed his brother silently through the gold piles one night, until they were far from the others.

"Fíli," he uttered, his voice slightly unsteady. It had been days since they'd spoken to one another, days since Kíli had spoken his one's name. His brother ignored him, bending to lift a goblet as he stared into the reflection visible on its surface.

"…Fíli?" Kíli tried again, louder this time, and his fingers wrung together before his body. When still no answer came Kíli lunged forward and gripped the other dwarf's shoulder firmly.

"Fíli!" he all but yelled, and his grip was thrown away as the blonde turned towards him in frustration.

"What do you want?" Fíli commanded of him, his voice low and frightening. Kíli stepped back at the hateful gaze. He steadied his stance and forced himself to look into the other dwarf's eyes.

"I want to…I want to take the vow before we fight," Kíli claimed, and he flinched when his brother rolled his eyes dramatically.

"Balin's already agreed to say the words, if you'll just come with me," Kíli suggested, and he was shocked at how desperate he sounded. Fíli had already turned away, looking back towards the riches.

"Fíli?" Kíli asked gently, his arms shaking at his sides. He stepped forward again and reached out but his hand was quickly pushed away.

"It's not the time Kíli!" Fíli shouted, his blue eyes smoldering.

"We have an Arkenstone to find, that's more important right now, you should be looking too," the older dwarf chastised. His gaze was drawn to a golden chain necklace and he trailed it between his fingers in awe.

"Is this not what we came here for? To take back this place we call home," Fíli asked, his voice faraway. Kíli felt his eyes filling with water and he tore the jewels away from his brother's hand and tossed them to the side.

"No you fool! I came here for you!" Kíli yelled, and he stood his ground when the other dwarf glared at him hatefully.

"Can't you see how ridiculous this all is?" Kíli implored, gesturing around them. Even in the far edges of the room he could see the other dwarves practically bathing amongst the gold.

"Uncle is bewitched! The riches are controlling him! And you are following blindly behind!" Kíli proclaimed loudly. He was so angry that the slap across his skin caught him completely off guard. He didn't dodge at all, and the full force of his brother's hand whipped across his face. Kíli fell back in surprise, his hand flying to his cheek where he felt the sting against his flesh. He tasted blood in his mouth and wiped his fingers tentatively across his lower lip. They came away red, and he looked at his brother warily. Fíli's face was unrecognizable. He was glaring so heatedly that Kíli stepped back further, nearly tripping over the gold beneath his feet. Tears fell from the brunette's eyes as he felt his heart break.

"You're lost," he whispered under his breath.

"You're not the brother I once knew, the one that made me laugh and smile each day," Kíli cried, his lip trembling as the words stumbled out. Fíli's face retained its angered expression and Kíli shook his head and turned. He sped across the gold piles, rushing to get away from the oddly claustrophobic room. It was not until he was completely out of sight that Fíli moved, looking down at his palm in wonder, while he heaved deep breaths in and out. The skin of his hand was a deep red, and he spread his fingers shakily as he finally registered what he'd done. Fíli jolted, and he stepped to the side, stumbling over the piles of gold as it shifted beneath his feet. He panicked as he tried to back away from it, fumbling around until his back pressed up against solid stone. Fíli sunk to the ground with wide eyes, and he scrunched his hand into a fist and held it over his heart.

"…Kee," Fíli muttered, his eyes blurred from unshed tears. He mumbled apologies that went unheard, and barely moved for the rest of the night.

* * *

The war was upon them.

The dwarves stood all in a row, their fists clenched and grips tightened upon their weapons. The members of the company braced themselves as the stomping of their enemy grew nearer. The tension amongst the group was at its worst, and for the past few days many of the dwarves began to question whether the right choices had been made **.** All except Thorin who seemed driven by rage. After Bilbo's banishment doubts began brewing, but they had little choice. None of them would run from this fight.

Kíli had made himself scarce in the mountain, showing only when summoned by Thorin and leaving to hide in the shadows immediately after. Fíli did not have the heart to follow him. The blonde dwarf was full of regret, and he did not believe any words could fix his mistakes. Fíli turned, eyes searching as always for his dearest, but Kili was so far away. Thorin stood between them and yet three more dwarves, and though it was perhaps only a few metres at most, the distance felt greater than ever. Kili's face was drawn, his posture stilted, and his face sported a darkening bruise that broke Fili's heart. He looked onwards with listless eyes, searching for something he could not find. Fili longed for his brother to turn towards him, to even glance his way, to close the distance between them and give him just one last shred of hope that things might be okay. But Kíli did not budge.

The two brothers had never entered battle so far from one another, and Fili dreaded the minutes to come. He needed to fight at the other dwarf's side, he needed to feel the brush of Kíli's skin against his fingers, hear his breathing in his ears. He needed to see the brilliant smile on his one's face. Fíli was unsteady, unfocused, and he could not calm the erratic beating in his chest. The blonde flinched as Thorin shouted at them to take up their arms. He watched as Kíli pulled an arrow from his quiver and nocked it in his bow. There were slight trembles visible in the slender wooden shaft, and Fíli noticed the way his brother's elbows shook, just as his own swords slipped awkwardly around in his unsteady grip.

So many thoughts clouded Fíli's mind. He should have listened to his brother, he should have seen how serious his worries were. He should have turned back the way they came long ago, taken Kíli with him and found happiness elsewhere. He should have taken the vow, and bound himself to his one for eternity. What if…

_What if…_

_What if…_

An arrow flew past Fíli's ear and he twisted towards the field ahead in surprise. Thorin shouted in that moment and the dwarves raised their weapons and flew into battle. It had begun.

Fíli's eardrums were hammering and he could barely hear the shouts of his companions and enemies as they found themselves overrun. He slashed around his body wildly, his vision a greying blur. Fíli shouted as a warg flew into his chest, throwing his body to the ground, and he rolled around and picked up a discarded weapon, slicing it upwards into the beast's open jaw. He took a moment to watch as men, elves, and dwarves fought together, defending the mountain from the goblin and orc armies. His eyes widened as an axe swiped through the body of a nearby elf, and the tall being fell to the dirty ground, his hair streaked with red. The field was growing bloody, and Fíli stood unsteadily as his eyes searched his surroundings frantically. There was no sight of his brother.

Fíli frowned and charged into the mass of fighting bodies, swiping at those he could reach on the way. He paused to aid Dori who was struggling to hold off three goblins that had surrounded him, and then moved further into the battle. He spotted his uncle, shouting out commands and beckoning those surrounding him to follow, and Fíli ran quickly to his side. He drew Thorin's sight for a moment and his uncle looked relieved at the sight of him. He seemed slightly confused to find his nephew alone, but they had little time to communicate and soon the two dwarves were fighting through a barrier of battle worn orcs.

They were overwhelmed, and Fíli's body ached as he felt his muscles stretch with every movement. His reaction time was slowing, and sweat was dripping into his eyes. He knew his armour was stained with blood, along with the rest of him. He was injured, but ignored it. If anything, the pain in his shoulder where an arrow protruded was keeping him awake and aware. He swung an axe around wildly, unsure exactly when he'd found the weapon and picked it up. His swords were long gone in the mess of bodies around him. He found himself distracted as giant shadows spread over the field. When he looked to the skies he saw the eagles flying overhead, joining the fight and couldn't hold back a shout of triumph.

Fíli shouted as he was hit in the back of his knee, and he slammed his hands into the ground as his body collapsed from the lack of support. He looked up into the eyes of a grinning monster, orc, goblin, he could not tell the difference any more. A sword was raised above his head and he knew he had to move. His mind was shouting at him to roll away, but his body did not react, and he stared openly as the sword began to lower, only to fall from the beast's hands a moment later. Fíli saw the arrow pierce through its eye, and watched it collapse backwards to the ground with a solid thump. The dwarf's eyes narrowed and he peered into the distance, spotting his one in an instant. Kíli was still as a statue, his bow still raised in the position he shot the arrow from, and his expression was full of desperation. But as their eyes locked, Kíli's shoulders slumped and he lowered his bow in relief. For a moment Fili felt like their connection had renewed, as though life sparked within his brother's eyes. The faint smile upon his lips at saving Fili was enough to ease the pain in the older dwarf's heart. But it was short-lived.

Kíli's smile faltered, and Fíli watched as his little brother's expression crumbled. A spear pierced through his abdomen and Kíli gasped and dropped his bow to the ground. Fíli screamed as his other half fell to the ground, skin ghostly pale and blood stark against his lips. Kíli's eyes were blown wide in surprise and the bruise on his face was darker than ever.

"No!" Fíli shouted, the axe slipping from his grip as his braids whipped about his face.

"Kíli! No!" Fíli cried again, and he surged forward, all thoughts of battle forgotten. His mind had no difficulty communicating with his body this time and his legs worked quickly to get him to his beloved's side. He dropped to his knees beside his one, unsure what he should do. Instead his hands shook above Kíli's shoulder as he eyed the spear in horror. His little brother seemed in shock, eyes searching the area in front of him while his chest contracted as he breathed.

"Kíli, my love, it's alright," Fíli whispered, moving closer to look in his eyes. Their gazes connected and the older brother felt tears fill his eyes at the fear he saw in the other dwarf's brown irises. Fíli quickly glanced down at where the spear protruded and he felt himself beginning to panic.

"It's alright laddie, Fíli, calm down," Dwalin spoke, pressing large fingers onto his shoulder. Fíli jerked at the touch but calmed slightly as the large dwarf settled at Kíli's back. Moments later he had pulled out a blade and began sawing at the wood protruding from the young dwarf's body.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Fíli asked worriedly, and he grabbed his brother's hands when Kíli groaned loudly at the jarring movements.

"Cuttin' it out, keep 'im busy," Dwalin ordered, and Fíli nodded as he shakily moved to lie beside his one. He pushed the hair from his brother's eyes, not caring about the blood or dirt it caked his hands in. Kíli's eyes focused on him and Fíli grimaced as he watched the other dwarf struggle not to cry out. The battle around them was beginning to wane, the orcs and goblins finally pushed back as the eagles attacked them violently. A few other dwarves joined them, kneeling nearby, and Óin pushed his way to Dwalin's side and began helping him remove the spear. Kíli gasped and coughed up some blood as the weapon was pulled from his front, and Fíli pressed their faces close together and rubbed at his wet cheeks.

"Y-you always said I…w-was your purpose in life," Kíli stuttered, ending the sentence with a slew of painful hacks.

"Kee," Fíli whispered in return, the tears leaking from his eyes. He felt absolutely sick at his brother's suffering.

"Y-you're mine, you know," the brunette insisted, raising a hand to tug on one of Fíli's braids. The older dwarf had to look away and rub his face on his sleeve. He noticed Óin was cutting away pieces of his brother's tunic to get a closer look at the wound and as Fíli caught sight of the sizable gash he found himself looking back up at the other dwarf.

"You're going to be alright, baby brother," Fíli spoke, his voice haggard.

"'m not a baby," Kíli joked, and Fíli snorted despite how upset he was. No matter what, Kíli would always be his little baby brother. Óin was working on closing the entry wound on the young dwarf's back while Dwalin pressed some torn fabric to the one on his front.

"Am I gonna die?" Kíli gasped out, his eyebrows knitting together and he looked so very young and afraid. Fíli's voice hitched and he shook his head gently.

"I promised, remember? I promised I'd make love to you one day. Beneath the trees and stars, and amongst nature. You can't die, not yet," Fíli spoke softly, ignoring the reactions of everyone around them.

"F-Fee, the halls…," Kíli stuttered, and when he coughed tears dripped down his face.

"I c-can't go alone, h-how will you f-find me? We've n-not…," he continued and Fíli choked on a sob.

"Hush, you're not going anywhere without me. I love you. I love you so much Kíli," Fíli proclaimed. He wiped his fingers across the other dwarf's lips in an attempt to get rid of the blood, but it did little more than smear it.

"You're smiling, even now," Fíli remarked, and it was true. Kíli's lips were curved upwards and his eyes were shining despite the pain he must have felt.

"I s-smile for you," Kíli answered, and his lips rose even more, baring his red stained teeth.

"You give me this smile," he whispered, his voice strained, and he groaned loudly as he was rolled onto his back. Óin began stitching the wound on his abdomen back together, and the skin pulled grotesquely as he tightened it. It was turning a dark colour and beginning to swell with infection, and blood still seeped from it rhythmically. Kíli's face was drawn and pale, and his lips were moving though no words came out. His eyes began to droop and Fíli clenched his hands tightly into his brother's hair as his dark lashes fluttered towards his cheeks.

"Kíli, don't close your eyes!" Fíli shouted. His fingers shook as he pressed them to the skin of his brother's face. There was no response and the blonde felt hysteria take control of his mind.

"Kíli!" he yelled while gripping his brother's shoulders and shaking his body. Two heavy hands grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him away, steadying his body. Dwalin held him back and pressed fingers into Kíli's neck carefully.

"Hush lad, he's not gone yet, his pulse is still sound. Calm yourself; let 'im rest," the warrior spoke, and Fíli took a deep breath and did his best to stop the quaking of his limbs. Dwalin let him go, and Fíli returned his hands gently to his brother's hair, rubbing soothing circles against his scalp. Kíli's chest still rose and fell as he breathed and Fíli focused on it as he pressed a kiss to his one's brow.

"I've healed worse war wounds than this in my days, nothing major was clipped. If we can stop this bleeding and keep his fever down…," Óin droned, and he turned and began sorting through his pack. He quickly grew frustrated, pulling things out in a hurry before throwing the bag off to the side.

"I need some Kingsfoil! Bofur, have you got any extra on yeh?" the healer requested.

"Aye!" Bofur answered quickly, settling at his side and pulling some of the flowering weed from his satchel. Óin was crushing the herb just a moment later.

"And water!" the greying dwarf demanded, and some was quickly poured into his hands from a canteen. He worked diligently, crushing the herbs and spreading it on the wounds atop his untidy stitching. The bleeding had slowed, and Fíli's shoulders lowered slightly as he monitored his brother's steady breathing. Kíli's skin was warm to the touch, but the herb would help, hopefully. He had to remain positive, for his brother's sake.

Fíli hadn't even realised his uncle was at his side until he heard his name spoken softly to his right. The other dwarf looked weary and weak, and he was clearly sporting several serious injuries. His gaze was dark and filled with guilt as he looked upon his nephews. Fíli's eyes widened and he nearly crumpled at the sight. Thorin lifted an arm and pulled the blonde close, his expression more caring than it had been for weeks.

"It's alright, I'll be fine," Thorin whispered and Fíli collapsed against his uncle in a fit of dreadful sobs as though he were no more than a child. He felt ashamed initially, but as Fíli's gaze lifted and he looked upon the grounds nearby, he saw many in a similar state. Men and elves were mourning, and the other dwarves seemed only relieved to find everyone alive. After Óin finished tending to Kíli, he was up and moving to others, doing his best to heal any he could. Fíli groaned as the arrow was pulled from his shoulder and someone pressed herbs into the open wound. He'd forgotten about his own injuries entirely. A group of elven healers paused upon their group, quickly checking Kíli's status and even tending to Thorin's wounds. The King surprisingly did not refuse, his attention still focused on his kin. Fíli was surprised to see such a sorrowful look within his uncle's eyes as he studied Kíli

"Uncle…he'll be okay, right?" Fíli asked, toying with a few strands of hair that fell over his brother's cheekbones. His eyes locked on to Kíli's lips, wishing more than anything that they still formed a smile, no matter how strained. He felt so lost without it.

"He will. Kíli's strong, he'll fight through this. I know he will," Thorin encouraged, and he rubbed his nephew's back soothingly. The two leant heavily against one another, drawing strength from each other's presence and Thorin whispered so only Fíli could hear,

"He'll fight through this for you."

* * *

Days later Fíli stood again amongst the gold beneath the mountain. There was less of it, much given to those who aided in the fight, or various members of the company, however it still felt as though barely a dent had been made in the sizable piles. He felt tense, his shoulders set high and his stance wide as his eyes took in the room. It was nearly unbearable for him. He felt the undeniable pull of the gold, tugging at his mind and warping his thoughts dangerously. He wanted to step closer, to take the gold as his own, to live amongst it and love it. It terrified him and he pulled his gaze away quickly as he remembered the loud crack his hand made hitting Kíli's face. Fíli clenched his eyes closed and backed out of the room.

He knew, once and for all, that he must leave Erebor. The gold had done nothing good for him and his family. So many of the Durin line corrupted, and for what? Worthless treasure. He did not need riches to find happiness. Life in the Blue Mountains had been tough without money, indeed, but he had been happy there, with his family, with his brother, with his one. He knew the wealth of Erebor would be a curse upon him. He'd already hurt Kíli once, and after only a few days amongst the temptation of the gold. How much would it warp him after a year, after ten?

Fíli strode down the tall hallways beneath the mountain grimly, the pull on his mind lessening the further from the cursed room he travelled. He felt his shoulders slowly relaxing, the tightness of his back easing, and his head throbbed less and less with each step, until he stood outside of his brother's chambers feeling worn and exhausted from the strain of fighting the lure. His hands rest against the ornate door as he caught his breath and he felt a different pull take hold in his mind. It was more pleasant, and instead of causing him pain, it soothed his soul.

Fíli pushed the heavy doors open and stepped into the room feeling far more at peace than he had only moments prior. His eyes moved to his brother's bed, draped in hanging fabrics to keep out the light of the lanterns, and he spotted Ori sitting calmly beside it. The young dwarf smiled at him kindly and closed the book in his hands, before he stood and moved to exit. Ori offered him a gentle smile which Fíli returned, before he settled in the vacated seat. The blonde heard the doors closing but his attention was fixated on the bed, where his brother lay nearly motionless, still recovering from his wounds. Fíli pushed the canopy away so he could see the other dwarf more clearly. Kíli's temperature had lowered, but his skin was still pale, and the dark locks of hair strewn about his pillow only enhanced his sickly pallor. Fíli frowned and moved to sit on the bed. His fingers brushed at his brother's bangs and he could not help but look towards the remaining patches of bruising across the other dwarf's face. A few days prior the marks were so dark and vivid Fíli could barely look at his one. They were finally fading, but Fíli knew even long after the bruises disappeared, the imprint upon his mind would remain clear.

"Stop it," Kíli suddenly spoke up, and Fíli recoiled, pulling his hand from his brother's face in surprise. The brunette blinked at him a few times and cleared his throat.

"Stop looking at my face like that," Kíli elaborated. Fíli breathed in quickly and had to avert his eyes. He jolted as Kíli's hand reached out and ran gently up his arm.

"It's not your fault Fíli," his little brother insisted, words slightly slurred together.

"It is," Fíli hissed, and his gaze bored into the stone wall.

"It's not!" Kíli shouted, his grip tightening in Fíli's arm and the blond dwarf turned to his brother as he coughed from exerting himself. Kíli's eyes were wet with tears, and he looked at his one longingly, and Fíli's gaze softened and he settled beside the other dwarf on the bed. The two had barely spoken in the past few days. Fíli was filled with so much self-loathing it was difficult to even look upon his brother without anger choking him, and Kíli was never awake long enough to say more than two or three words at a time. Fíli caressed his brother's unmarked cheek and pressed a kiss just beneath his eye. He heard the other dwarf inhale and continued decorating his face with gentle kisses. As he approached the bruising his lips stuttered against the other dwarf's skin.

"I should have been stronger, should have fought the sickness. I should have taken you far away from here the moment it began," Fíli spoke, and he wrapped his arms about his brother's shoulders, taking care not to harm him in the process.

"Fíli," Kíli sighed, his small amount of energy was beginning to dwindle.

"We're leaving this place, as soon as you're better," Fíli vowed as he watched his brother's face. The brunette frowned slightly and he bit his lip as he fiddled with the other dwarf's tunic.

"But you said we would marry," Kíli muttered, looking more than a little forlorn. Fíli kissed his brow and placed his fingers at the back of his neck in a soothing manner.

"We will, but not here," Fíli said, tucking his brother's face against his chest. Kíli closed his eyes and snuggled close as he listened to the other dwarf's heart beating steadily.

"You were right, Kíli. This place was never our home. Erebor has brought us nothing but pain, I do not wish to tarnish our love with such memories. And I won't allow it to take control of me again, never again," Fíli declared. He nuzzled the younger dwarf's neck and left a trail of kisses across the skin towards his shoulder, and Kíli shivered at the delicate touches.

"Then…where shall we go?" Kíli whispered, already beginning to drift off again. Fíli's breath ghosted across his skin and the blonde grinned against his brother's neck.

"Where your smile is brightest," he murmured, satisfied with the knowledge that Kíli was safe and sound within his embrace.

* * *

When Fíli explained to his uncle his plans to leave in a concise manner, leaving no room for argument, he was not expecting the other dwarf to relay an interest in joining them on their journey. He thought his uncle would attempt to convince him to stay, or perhaps wish him luck on his way, but as Fíli and Kíli packed their bags and loaded them on the back of a caravan, Thorin arrived, arms filled with supplies, and he tossed them in and boarded alongside his nephews. He seemed oddly at ease leaving leadership of Erebor in the capable hands of Dain Ironfoot. Thorin hardly spared the mountain a glance as they rolled away to the west, instead he breathed in the fresh air and wrapped his arms about his nephews, leading the ponies to their destination. Kíli was wrapped up in blankets, his skin still a bit lighter than normal, and his wounds not quite healed. The trip was less stressful than their last one however, and the trio relaxed and took frequent stops whenever they felt the need. They had plenty of stores and gold to keep them well fed for a good long while, and little fear of obstacles as they travelled well-worn roads and paths. There was no need for secrecy anymore, and with Thorin's pride suitably smashed into smithereens, no need to turn down aid from others when it was offered, even from elves. Despite their frequent stops, and roundabout travels, the pony drawn carriage travelled faster than they had much of their journey on foot, and before long the dwarves recognized the beautiful rolling Weather Hills. Just a few days later they were in Bree, where the three stopped to get some proper bed rest and restock their supplies. It was the least they could do to arrive with food this time.

Kíli's smile was beautiful as they strolled into Hobbiton, and he stopped to pick nearly every flower he spotted. Fíli laughed at his brother's playfulness and he cheerily allowed the other dwarf to place a ring of flowers atop his head. He'd let Kíli braid them into his hair if it made him happy. And by the time the carriage rolled to a stop before the signature green door of Bag End, all three dwarves sported various floral arrangements atop their heads. The hobbit hole looked so inviting, and yet somehow the dwarves found it difficult to approach any closer. Fíli reached for his one's hand and they followed their uncle's lead, standing before the round door awkwardly while neighbours pointed and whispered at them in the streets. Thorin lifted his fist to knock unsuccessfully several times before he finally rapped three times upon the wooden door. And then they waited.

Thorin visibly stiffened when they heard a muffled voice beyond the door, and shuffling feet approaching it quickly.

"Just a moment!" came a familiar voice, and Fíli and Kíli held their breath as the door knob turned and the door creaked open.

Bilbo Baggins was a sight for sore eyes. The hobbit looked perfectly respectable, as he had the first day the company set out from his home. He was fully dressed, as it was the middle of the day, and he'd regained much of the weight he'd lost during their travels. His eyes looked out at them blankly. And then he slammed the door in their faces. Thorin jolted and Kíli laughed nervously as he scratched at the back of his head. Such a reaction was to be expected really, after the way Thorin had treated him. Still, the older dwarf looked positively crestfallen at the reaction. But not moments later the green door whipped open again and their arms were full of Hobbit. Bilbo hugged all three of them tightly before he pressed a finger into Thorin's chest with vigour.

"You're an idiot Thorin Oakenshield!" Bilbo shouted, though he glanced around immediately after and noticed the neighbours watching with keen interest.

"Oh get in, the lot of you! Making me look like a bad host, standing out here like that, get in, get in, hurry up now!" he stammered, ushering the three inside quickly. He was a proper host from that point on, gathering food from his pantry and laying it out at the table for them. He fiddled nervously with his hands and asked them how they were. Kíli easily filled him in on the events of their journey from Erebor, while Fíli added the occasional remark, and Thorin did little more than gaze across the table at their long lost burglar.

Time always passed quickly in good company and soon Fíli was pulling his brother away for bed, not only so his one could get some rest, but also so that Thorin might have some time alone with Mr. Baggins. Even before the two dwarves were out of eyesight Thorin and Bilbo were caught in a powerful embrace and Fíli heard the faint whisper as it echoed through the hobbit's home.

" _I thought you were dead_."

Fíli smiled, and his brother returned it, as they found their room and settled in for the night. Perhaps the mountain was never Thorin's purpose after all.

* * *

The Shire was buzzing with excitement on the day Fíli and Kíli wed. So many familiar faces travelled from far away to witness the event, and though it was far simpler than a wedding in Erebor would have been, it was perfect for them. Kíli was positively aglow and Fíli soaked up his happiness eagerly. They danced and sang and laughed the day away and not a single doubt arose about where the two belonged. The Shire was their home, and though they might go on many adventures to faraway lands, they would always return to their very own hole in the ground, with its brilliant blue round door.

As the events of the night slowed, and hobbits and dwarves settled down to sleep, Fíli pulled his brother away into the trees. They walked and talked at each other's sides stopping to kiss frequently beneath the canopy of leaves. Kíli teased his brother, grinning coyly as he unbuttoned his shirt and walked backwards in a sultry manner. Fíli watched him heatedly, and rid himself of his tunic, taking pleasure in the flush that spread across his one's face as he threw the fabric away to the forest floor. He began unbuckling his belt as Kíli's shirt slipped from his shoulders then slid away to the ground. Fíli eyed his brother intensely as he pulled the leather strap from his waste and threw it away as well. He took a step towards his one eagerly, and Kíli stepped back quickly, his eyes flashing playfully. Fíli snorted, and licked his lips, before he approached again, and Kíli continued to move away until he stepped into a grassy circle. The brunette glanced up in surprise, looking at the gap in the trees, towards the stars above.

"This is…our little fairy ring," he whispered and he stared at the sky until Fíli wrapped an arm about his waist.

"I love this place," Kíli spoke softly, his eyes shining as he looked at his brother fondly.

"I know you do," Fíli's voice was sultry and low, and he pulled his other half taught against his body.

"Your smile has always been brightest here," Fíli murmured, before he claimed his brother's lips greedily. They were well practised this time, and Kíli's mouth moved confidently and in tandem with the other dwarf's. There was no hesitation, no nervousness as Fíli divested his brother of the rest of his garments. He lay his one down and settled atop him, kissing him sweetly wherever he could reach. They made love on the grass as if they did so every night prior, skin sliding against skin, heavy moans drawn from between parted lips. Starlight reflected off Kíli's dark irises as Fíli finally slid inside of him and the two rocked into each other slowly. It was unrushed, languid, as they had nowhere else they were meant to be. They could have stayed there for days, loving one another, giving each other pleasure, if they desired. Fíli's hands roamed his one's body, grazing across scars, new and old, and as he looked into the other dwarf's eyes felt so very at peace. He kissed Kíli's jaw, his nose, his ears. He dragged his tongue along his neck and collar. Each gasp that came from the brunette's lips was sweeter than any sound he'd heard before.

Kíli's nails dragged down his brother's spine, more than likely leaving bloodied trails in their wake, and he arched his back and thrust up against the other dwarf excitedly. He could hear the trees creaking around them, the leaves rustling in the wind. Birds were cooing and animals were calling out in the night. His fingers moved to the forest floor and they clenched in the grass, his nails digging into the soil. He shouted out as Fíli gripped his hips tightly and thrust deeper inside of him. They were sweating and the cool air felt delightful as it brushed across their skin. Kíli threw his head back and smiled joyfully, clenching around his brother as he felt fingers run up across his chest.

A hand pressed against the side of his face and he looked into the tender gaze of his one. He could feel the cool metal of the bonding ring against his chin and he turned his head to the side to kiss it before sucking the finger into his mouth. Fíli groaned and paused in his movements, trying to stem his arousal. Kíli didn't allow it, and his long legs wrapped about his brother's hips, pulling him closer so he could move beneath him easily. The older dwarf shook his head and clenched his teeth, but there was little he could do as his love rut up against him. Neither dwarf lasted much longer after that. Their smooth pace became hectic and ungraceful, their bodies thrusting against each other frantically as both found release. They collapsed into a pile of tangled limbs, planting sloppy kisses over each other's faces, their bonding complete.

Fíli pulled his little brother atop his body, holding the other dwarf close as he shivered. They grew colder, exposed to the air, and without the distraction of their activities, but Fíli didn't feel like moving just yet. He splayed his hand out to the side, grabbing a pair of discarded breeches and tossing them atop the other dwarf as a makeshift blanket. It wasn't much, but it was a summer night, perhaps his body heat would be enough to keep his brother warm for at least a little while longer. Kíli snuggled into his shoulder, a wide grin on his face and the blonde ran his thumb across his plush lower lip. Fíli looked up at the stars, awed at how brightly they shone, but still he couldn't help thinking that his brother's smile was brighter than all of them. It was like a beacon, guiding him through even the worst of times. Fíli need only follow that beautiful sight and surely he'd never lose his way again.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment! Let me know what you think!


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